somedays i wish i knew my father

maybe this would help unlock the mysteries in me.
like certain things about myself that have always been strange to me
theyre only strange because i dont understand them
where were yu Dad when i need yu to explain them?
where were you for graduation?
where were you to tell me i was beautiful ?
where were you to tell me i looked a fcukin mess?
i needed you Dad.
i need you when my car broke down.
i needed you to tell me how to tell me to pick the right guy
i needed you to tell me how TO LOVE the right guy
who WANTS to be with me?
i lack the skils to be a DAMN girlfriend
mother did her BEST but there were somethings she JUS COULDNT teach me
even then i jus wish i knew you,
sometimes its scary to think that if you passed
i wouldnt miss you.
i cant be sure i would shed a tear.
the relationship didnt exist.
but im trying because i need to get something out of you..
fcuk what Mom said, you never had to give me anything for my bday.
you NEVER ever had to pay child support
i jus needed you to call me every once and awhile.
see how im livin
and encouraged me to get wherever i needed to go..

life is as hard as it is already... i would least be able to this is my father, and remember the things he taught me...